13 November 2008
All may now be well, but it started with a corn, and no pharmacist would touch it, and who could blame them.
Mrs Monk suffers with her feet, which means that all others must also suffer her endless tales of the agony and the anxiety and finally the ecstasy of relief, provided by her new best friend, the chiropodist, who made short work of the corn.
As she worked, the chiropodist passed on anecdotes about her second home in Florida and other tales that Mrs Monk finds irresistible, and they are now conspiring to persuade me that the Monks should join her in tropical USA.
Having sorted out the Corn problem, Mrs Monk invented another reason to return to her chiropodist for more leg end work and pro Florida therapy. That night she returned with stories of deadly snakes and alligators at the end of chiropodist lawn.
But also the tale of wherefore the chiropodist become a chiropodist in the first place; an unlikely tale of how she was once employed by Pretty Polly, as a model for hosiery and was in due course usurped from that position and replaced by the tranny man, Lilly Savage.
We think that hurt the chiropodist more than the pain inflicted by the corn on Mrs Monk’s big toe, and maybe why she is so keen on leaving the country.
I have put that Savage pretender out of my mind and now dream of healthy leggy girls in tights, and a movie is on the way.
All may now be well, but it started with a corn.