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twitter.com/#!/saramo
2 February 2012
Big Questions Small Bullies two arrogant ill informed naughty grammar school boys.
TV
Pictures by Sara Monk where the TV is featured, either directly or inadvertently.
Recent Pictures of Leigh On Sea
2 February 2012 Huhne Faces Life? Huhne fingers Cameron, and faces Life in Prison, say BBC.
2 February 2012 Facebook goes corporate today The beginning of the end of that book of faces?
2 February 2012 British Gas speak with forked tongue, They wrote to me and said, “We've dropped our electricity prices and we now offer the cheapest standard electricity on average of any major supplier.” Double Dutch meaningless sales talk.
31 January 2012 This page was down today for 24 hours due to unknown problem with the server, 1and1.
31 January 2012 Fred The Shred lost his knighthood for wrecking the economy, and because Cameron needed a futile gesture to soothe his discomfort over the banker’s bonus issue.
Pictures by Mrs Monk selected by others
These pictures have received comment on FlickR.
They were chosen by others and not for any special qualities, but nevertheless hit some vein or other within the intercontinental audience of FlickR
30 January 2012 BBC has seemed to have lost touch with the people. They characterise Hesters loss of bonus with the bold headline,
“RBS boss Stephen Hester rejects 1m bonus”,
as if his heart were in it. Another BBC commentator suggested that a 1M bonus was “not a lot of money”.
Australian Open Top 8 Stats
By this imperfect analysis of the tournament stats Nadal posted the best stats overall by just one point over Djokovic. That will be of no comfort to Nadal, but it does show how tight it is at the top. Wilco made 5 separate predictions, and they all came true. How does he do that? He is better than the Sky pundits. If you made a prediction, thanks.
Australian Open Seeds
follow their progress during the tournament
Australian Open Predictions
by Wilco and Others. Hit the contact link, make an impressive prediction and beat the Tennis Egg Heads.
I Believe in Breakfast
28 January 2012
......and pole dancing erotic vegetables in the aisles and smiling chickens....
The Daily Sketch
Something appears here most days from the prolific pen or pencil of Mrs Monk and less frequently from Mr Monk, when Mrs Monk becomes less productive.
25 January 2012 Yesterday, Murray posted the worst 1st Serve percentage of any player in the entire tournament but still won easily. Overall he has posted better stats than Djokovic.
Australian Open Predictions
by Wilco and Others. Hit the contact link, make an impressive prediction and beat the Tennis Egg Heads.
Recent Pictures of London
Blowsy Louise Mensch MP
23 January 2012 I was just admiring your pigment
23 January 2012 Berdych had a run-in with Almalgro who floored him somewhat lamely with a tennis ball. This did not impress the Aussie crowd. In compesation, Berdych leads my unique table of the elite men, here posted for what its worth.
Australian Open Top 8 Stats
Pictures of Cat Flap Charlie and Friends, snapped by Sara Monk from 2009 to 2011, are constantly added and removed from this set so his admirers, all over the world, may be frequently updated of Charlie's progress. Of this he is blissfully unaware, because he is a cat.
Panorama exploited by Jove
21 January 2012 How arrogant novices like Gove and Toby Young can find themselves with the power to defy the wishes of communities
19 January 2012 Mardy Fish has best stats of top eight at Australian Open, but loses and is now out. Might need to adjust stats format.
Australian Open Top 8 Stats
For some reason Murray again finds himself out on court nearly thrice the time of Djokovic and more than anyone else in the top eight, in the worst heat that Melbourne can provide. Nevertheless Murray is through into the second round..
Australian Open Seeds
follow their progress during the tournament
Australian Open Predictions
by Wilco and Others. Hit the contact link, make an impressive prediction and beat the Tennis Egg Heads.
People at work and at play.
16 January 2012
Hello CoOp, Goodbye AA
The Monks decided to save money and cancel our AA membership of 20 years standing, and switch to the Co Op. When I called to cancel this and my Car Insurance, also with the AA, I did not expect to get abuse, and a lecture from a mega mouth sales man. He seemed to think he had the right to demand that I listened to his sales jargon and ignore my instructions to cancel my membership.
15 January 2012
Aussie Open
15 January 2012 Mrs Monk predicts that Murray will win. Monkles is more conservative and believes he will at least reach the second week. Further predictions by Wilco and others may be forthcoming if they have the courage to put their reputations on the line. We shall see what happens, beginning tomorrow.
14 January 2012 Gove said yesterday on the BBC that teachers who complain about bullying are incapable teachers. How Kafka is that? Would love to see Gove in front of 30 pupils of my choice, not the little sweet charming year 7s, with whom he likes to pose for the BBC. Will Gove get the sack?
White Van Spy Cam Man
13 January 2012 Teacher support web sites are now rife with traumatised. teachers that have heard Michael Gove's irresponsible comments. His high profile ill informed proselytising on the subject is in itself bullying and traumatising teachers. Will Gove get the sack?
Gove’s World of Secrets
11 January 2012 Are parents misinformed by head teachers about what is happening in their schools.
9 January 2012 Key phrases from the last five tweets by the Daily Mail. Immigration to blame mother killed by pedophile spared by policeman and psychotic Peter Hitch needing vacation and medication.
9 January 2012 Peter Hitchins of the Daily Mail may well be unwell. His column in the daily mail is close to psychotic. He needs a vacation and should not forget to pack his medication.
ABSTRACT
pictures
7 January 2012 Mrs Monk is here because she gets more Twitter followers than me. She is not exactly known to me for the brevity demanded by Twitter. Cat flap Charlie could teach her a thing or two about brevity. Miaow.
7 January 2012 Cat flap Charlie has recovered, and back outside frolicking, enjoying an unseasonably good January day. Mrs. Monk still forcing antibiotics into him. Veterinary cost: 45, just below his insurance excess. What a bummer.
Gove’s Forced Academies
7 January 2012 Academies are allowed to keep big fat secrets.
Discipline in Waitrose
He could be a teacher, she said.
4 January 2012 Some of Diane Abbott's best friends are very white Tory Boys. A stupid non political tweet would not make her a racist. The rush to vilify Diane Abbott may well be so.
4 January 2012 Cat Flap Charlie is unwell. Vet says that he has a heart murmur, a temperature and an infection. Refuses to purr. Vet tells us to hold his paws when force feeding antibiotics, so he wont scratch us. Charlie would not even scratch Margaret Thatcher. Not many cats can say that.
4 January 2012 Seamus is Sick
A FELINE SOAP OPERETA
Seamus Has Left The Building
2 January 2012 New year’s resolution collapse. Don’t ask.
2011
1 January 2012 Faces of 2011 recorded by theses pages or otherwise taken by Mrs Monk on her travels throughout 2011
31 December 2011 Andy Murray has found a coach, Ivan Lendle. Lendle has been a long time admirer of Murray, and there are many similarities between the two.
Work has already started and they are preparing for the Australian Open which starts in just two weeks.
Ephemera
The Daily Sketch
Something appears here most days from the prolific pen or pencil of Mrs Monk and less frequently from Mr Monk, when Mrs Monk becomes less productive. A sketch is something produced in a fleeting moment or two of inspiration, not intended to be a finished work, but nevertheless too precious to be ignored. Artists like Tracy Emin make a career without ever progressing beyond this stage. Mrs Monk is currently impressed by Tracy Emin, now that Tracy has disclosed on TV, her very own private lapping swimming pool in the basement of her home. Mrs Monk also loves to do laps on a daily basis, and to count her laps, in a mermaid dream, but in a less than private swimming pool.
24 December 2011 ....Sometimes you get Christmas News that might test your sense of humour, and Christmas Spirit. When we heard that Margaret Thatcher would get a State Funeral, Cat Flap Charlie and I were extremely disturbed and had some impure thoughts. We predict a riot.
Alternative Christmas Tree
22 December 2011 .... an otherwise naked deciduous shrub which overhangs the public footpath ...
21 December 2011 “Are you sure about that, Mr Morgan?”
Miss Putupon’s Last Lesson
21 December 2011 It was the last lesson of the afternoon before Christmas.
Dancers Chancers and Brides
17th December 2011 The St Paul's occupation Saturday December.
so cozy and wozy
by the fire
it's almost Christmas
what was I saying?
oh yes
it's almost Christmas and soon it's over
but don't dwell on that and all those Super Sales!
smell the pine
and opine
so cozy and dozy by the fire
TV
Pictures by Sara Monk where the TV is featured, either directly or inadvertently.
16 December 2011 Surprising number of politicians, are unwilling to admit to having no faith, but are lining up to admire the good Hitchens, now that he is gone.
God Bless Darwin
15 December 2011 If Tinker Tailor failed to get nominated for the Golden Globes, the actual unseen nominees most be very good indeed. Unlikely outcome.
15 December 2011 Weekend Ski Slope Nazi chant stag party When Mel Brooks dressed up as a Nazi, in the classic movie The Producers, no one doubted that he was mocking Nazis, but when young Tories dress up as Nazis, it is like watching delinquent infants pissing their pants for the first time. I have seen Young Tories first hand, and it is not a pretty sight.
Transport Secretary Justine Greening is embarrassed, but what fun for the weekend ski slope Nazis? How Daily Mail is that? Nazi chant stag party
15 December 2011
1 Euro = 0.840297062 British pounds
15 December 2011 Possible backlash against Cameron failing to save the Euro... therefore the World. Gordon Brown saved the World, they say.
The Jewish Christmas Tree
By popular request we return to Christmas Past,
and this page just 5 years old this week.
12 December 2011 FSA report states the bleeding obvious, and offers lessons, but no solutions.They blame themselves for light touch regulation, abused by the bankers, especially RBS, especially Fred Goodwin.
Light touch regulation has not been abandoned by the present government. After Cameron got elected we might have expected him to toughen up the regulation, but we were told that they could not do so because all banks world wide would need to sign up collectively to any new tougher regulations. Isn't that what was proposed last week, by the other twenty six nations of Europe?
9 December 2011 Cameron has “accidentally” taken us out of the common market without a referendum. The Tories are beside themselves with joy. This would be good for the Bankers and the city of London. Bad for manufacturers. Bad for Jobs.
8 December 2011 The Monks have an arranged overdraft with HBOS. If we use it and overdraw by ten pounds for one month we will be charged
76,621,785,459.2% APR Can this be ethical?
7:84?
7 December 2011 “We are all in this together.” BS
Poor them, you might think, but why would David Cameron focus on the extremely comfortable filthy rich, the lucky 10%?
6 December 2011 Olympic Stamps announced today.
Arsehole Signs for Sale
5 December 2011 I was surprised to learn that several people had googled the word “Arsehole”, and had accordingly found this website, perhaps because of this 2006 page. Even in 2006 there were annoying Jeremy Clarksons everywhere.
Boys will be Arseholes
1 December 2011 Three Jeremy Clarksons walked into a bar.... to those defenders of Clarkson, who say Clarkson has no political agenda and that it was just a joke, pull the other one.
1 December 2011 Another day and another analysis of George Osborne’s budget, this one by the Institute for Fiscal Studies. We now know that the most well-off earners, the top 60% of society will actually be better-off, and only the lowest paid 30% will be worse-off.
That is some trick Mr Osborne.
We are all in this together?
30 November 2011 Yesterday’s Autumn budget, by George Osborne, has now been analysed, and we now understand that the bottom 30% of society will pay the most, and the top 30% will actually be better-off. The politician, David Maceroon called the strike today by public service workers, “a damp squib” Apparently he is seeking confrontation. Pretty sure he will get it.
30 November 2011 The politician, Michael Gove made a perjorative accusation that the strikers are “politically motivated”. Dah!
30 November 2011 Peter Hitchens and the Prostitute.... generated by Linkedin, but written as if they were from Mrs Monk.
Twitter, Linkedin
& Other Networks
105,000 people passed this Newsagent Window last year. Place a free ad or find a bargain. No catch.
27 November 2011 Roger Federer diminished Andy Murray’s achievement in the Far East run of tournaments, claiming that Andy Murray only won because a fit Roger Federer did not show up at those events. Since Murray has an 8 to 6 winning record against Federer, that would seem to be disrespectful not just to Andy Murray, but all other players that turned up for these events. Now that Federer has won the prestigious O2, I think that the inform, but injured Murray and Djokovic may also care to point out that Federer was lucky to have avoided facing both of them at the O2.
O2 Tennis Predictions
by Wilco and Others. Hit the contact link, make an impressive prediction and beat the Tennis Egg Heads. 24 November 2011
Dear Vince Cable
23 November 2011 humping and dumping bad employers have the most to gain from your proposals
22 November 2011 At The O2 we are left surveying the walking wounded. Murray is out with a groin injury. Djockovic came in nursing a shoulder problem, albeit announced fit, if not match fit. Nadal has the runs, with confidence waning and having now been bagled by Federer today, following similar treatment by Murray last month. Fish is floundering, and the event seems destined to go Federer’s way, unless Mrs Monk is right, and Berdich bounces back.
22 November 2011 Seamus is Sick
A FELINE SOAP OPERETA
Parts 4,5,6 Siamese Head Butt, Cat Heaven, Cat Hell.
Murray’s Strategy
19 November 2011 Someone should fix his rubbish kit
Recent Pictures of London
16 November 2011 “How 'rogue' borders chief DID go behind minister's back as controls were 'eased 164 times'” This Daily Mail Headline, is based on a leaked draft of the in-house enquiry set up by Whiteman into the Suspension of Clark by Whiteman. Apparently, conclusions have been made and leaked, by the in-house enquiry and by the Daily Mail before the evidence has been presented. Meanwhile Emails and minutes supporting Mr Clark, are not leaked.
How Daily Mail is that?
Theresa’s fall guys
15 November 2011 “No,” he said without hesitation.
Who gets the blame and who gets the credit
Sodom and Gomorrah
14 November 2011 .....the blonde and the very first public toilets in Abu Dhabi.......
THE LOVE CHANNEL
subscribe, no charge...
Love is a very splendid thing. A movie called "Love" was created by us Monks at Shoestringonline. We then discovered that there were 10,729 movies on vimeo with the same title. Most seem to be syrup, or church, or just bad, or all three. Surely there would be enough to start a Love Channel. Love Channel was born, or was there already a Love Channel. Apparently not.
*****
THE LOVE BUCKET
Unlovely movies about love and a foil to the Love Channel
subscribe, no charge...if you must.
*****
8 November 2011 PM Theresa May has now said that she will not resign, but so did Liam Fox at this stage of his demise.
*****
8 November 2011 PM Theresa May has now said that she will not resign, but so did Liam Fox at this stage of his demise.
8 November 2011 AM Theresa May has the full support of David Cameron, but so did Liam Fox. The shredders are working overtime but Theresa May will now need to defend her secret light touch regulation on Home Border Security, something she failed to inform, and indeed may have misled Parliament about. Theresa May is hardly able to start a sentence without blaming Labour, but not on this occasion. She may also have misled all those Daily Mail readers. Whatever next?
Monkles’s choice of Mrs. Monk’s pictures on Flickr
Popular choice of Mrs. Monk’s pictures on Flickr. Mrs Monk's pictures have been viewed 40,373 times as of today, and these are not the best, but the most viewed, or commented upon, or favoured, apparently appealing to the taste of others.
6 November 2011 How Daily Mail is that?
It can’t be true if you read it the Daily Mail. When they ran the headline “St Paul's staff have to clean up human waste INSIDE the cathedral as protesters 'use it as a latrine'” this was something that their readers would enjoy reading even if were untrue.
The headline used quotation marks but nevertheless failed to attribute the quote. However within the article is an attributable quote that makes it abundantly clear that the Cathedral does not at all find the protesters responsible for crapping on the church. How Daily Mail is that?
Richter or Monk
5 November 2011“smudging blurring God,” Richter is richer than Monks.
3 November 2011 On BBC Question Time, Peter Hitchins, representing Daily Mail readers, was seated at the extreme “right” end of the table for comic relief. His annoyingly juvenile, and indeed fascist position, was that the St Paul's protesters were “self appointed” and should therefore not be allowed to express their views.
Bus Stop Pictures
Paint Job
2 November 2011 “There, I hope you are satisfied” she said, “No pumpkins”
31 October 2011 The Dean of St Paul’s resigns.
The Bishop does not.
Saint Paul’s
30 October 2011 there are no rules ..... if just one hippy showed up ...
27 October 2011 Vince Cable has described the Beecroft proposals as “madness”. I am not at all sure that he always had this opinion, because he has hitherto disappointed me by announcing a contrary view on BBC Question Time. Thank you Vince. You are forgiven.
26 October 2011 Mr Beecroft said, “employer did not like them... this is sad.”
Sad?
Wanted
25 October 2011 I demanded to see the bank manager.
I got to see a pimply youth......
Robert Maxwell is starting to look honourable.
Recent Pictures of Monks
SOUP
23 October 2011 The soup was a soup, without lumps ..... an unconvincing cowboy theme.
23 October 2011
Wilco says, “I predict Murray to win it, (The O2 Barclays ATP World Tour Finals), there, I have said it.” I feel Wilco’s pain, but is it too soon to write off Djokovic, Nadal, and Federer?
EasyJet Baggage
18 October 2011 Why is EasyJet so difficult?
The Car
Picture of cars, or from cars shot by Mrs Monk
TENNIS
Stories about tennis inspired by tennis pundit Wilco and others.
11 October 2011 Andy Murray has won 21 out of his last 22 matches and two ATP titles in two weeks (three, if you count the doubles win). If he wins this week in Shanghai, that will mean three ATP singles titles in three weeks and he will then become the new World Number Three. That could send Wilco, tennis pundit and Federer devotee, over the edge.
Tinker Tailor Liam Fox
9 October 2011 If you were sat upon the Duty Officer's toilet...and Kathy Burke complaining?
8 October 2011 Andy Murray won in Bangkok last week and today will play in the Tokyo Final against Nadal. Murray will not become World No 3 after today’s match, but he will narrow the gap between him and Federer To clear confusion created by SKY TV. Murray is No 3 in the Qualifying Race to the O2. Federer has not yet qualified, since he has won no event since last year’s O2. Tennis pundit Wilco is in mourning.
6 October 2011 Steve Jobs was not a Bad Apple, but he did successfully fool me into buying a flawed product at an inflated price. Yes, he had the knack for seducing people into parting with a lot of cash for second rate technology disguised as the cats meow. (No offence, Charlie). The I-phone does no more than any other phone that does everything badly. But that is at least something in a world where achievement is measured by what salary you receive for doing something very badly.
Vexatious George
4 October 2011 "We are ending the one way bet against small businesses," Mr Osborne said in Manchester. If employment disputes are a one way bet against business, I’m a chocolate fudge cake..........
How Not To Win
Imponderable choices, manipulation by filter or photo-shop. These choices are in fact infinite.... Apparently inspired by Tarkovsky's film, Stalker. Sure, it was.......
These are stories inspired by the crisis in education.
Britain and the USA have the worst behaved children in the world. Yes, we even share that with the USA.
British Employers complain of an epidemic of unemployable illiterate and innumerate school leavers.
“What is the price of experience?” 29 September 2011 A Survey shows evidence that head teachers in Britain, are guilty of illegal discrimination against older and more experienced class room teachers.
Educating Essex
25 September 2011 The man with the foolish grin is no guru.......
Sony Obsolescence
24 September 2011 We've done some rethink on this camera choosing business. Some would call it “built in obsolescence” .....
20 September 2011 Seamus is Sick
A FELINE SOAP OPERETA
Honeyed Cat
12 Sep 2011 My First Car Lady Chatterley’s Lover and Princess Margaret, or Potted Plants and Harold Macmillan ........
12 Sep 2011 Tactical Call For Trainer In the US Open final, Djokovic was warned twice about slow play and when Nadal was at the peak of his game he called for the trainer...............
US OPEN TOP FOUR STATS
10 Sept 2011 Quarter Final Stats show Djokovic posting the worse stats of any player in any round, in spite of the schedule which favours him and Federer and punishes Murray and Nadal Nadal continues to be the objective favourite to win the USOPEN
9 Sept 2011 Unhappy Anniversary
About This time of year I am bound to think of My Wedding Anniversary, September 7th, because I receive so many hints and reminders. .... however...
Dear Nick Clegg
Pull The Other One
5 Sept 2011 I have read the liberal party policy document on “Academies”, and I note that you are broadly against them. I assume that you do not like being misrepresented by Gove and have already given him a severe bollocking.
US OPEN TOP FOUR STATS
5 Sept 2011 The stats now put Nadal in first position over his three closest rivals, but his collapse with cramp at the post match press conference was another telling indicator of the brutal task at hand that has made 16 players retire without completing their matches. And still counting.
2 Sept 2011 “I'm going to need to play better on Sunday or I'll be going home” says Andy Murray, despite his 5 sets victory over Robin Hasse, in New York and returning to his world No 3 status. Round two is over. 23 seeded players are out and 14 players have retired without completing their matches.
NEW YORK Brutal NEW YORK
1 Sept 2011 At the Cincinnati Tennis Masters you could fry an egg on the base line. At the US Open in New York players are literally dropping out with brutal heat exhaustion due mainly to the slow court requiring long rallies, but also the high humidity, post Irene.
US OPEN TOP FOUR STATS
1 Sept 201 Round one of the USOpen is complete and players are literally dropping out with heat exhaustion. 9 seeds have fallen at the first hurdle, including Robin Soderling, but how are the top four shaping up. Djockovic’s stats are flattering but he was only required to play 12 games.
US OPEN
Against the odds given the hype surrounding Hurricane Irene, the US Tennis Open is underway and here are the seeds and their value in Monkles, to date. Predictions are always welcome. Please come forth with what you think might happen, particularly if it is out of the ordinary. just hit the contact link on any page of Shoestring and have the courage of your convictions, especially you, Professor Wilco. This page will be updated frequently, so come back as you please.
28 Aug 2011 Information Announcement
A movie. The Thames estuary is where conflicting weather systems frequently meet and produce, foreboding, and even sublime cloud formations. ..........
25 Aug 2011 Dear Andy Murray
I write in praise of Andy Murray, and note your single handed sliced backhand and the drop shot.... Respect.
21 Aug 2011 Dear WILCO, you have switched your loyalty from Fed to Djok, but Murray has just won the Cincinnati Masters?
Predictions for the US Open please....
20 Aug 2011 Seamus is Sick
A FELINE SOAP OPERETA
Cat's Pee
Dear Rosie Boycott 9 August 2011 The “Grey” population have a lot in common with disaffected youth.
11 August 2011 MP after MP ....... Lord Hanningfield, also a thief in denial of any wrongdoing
10 August 2011 David Maceroon, to get elected, hug a hoody, to get re-elected, water cannon, and plastic bullets.
9 August 2011 no hirsute whiskers? Andy Murray out in the second round in Montreal
8 August 2011Let’s get some watches ..... said an underage kid looking for loot in the riot last night.......
7 August 2011 Meat Is Murder “The finest dinner ever served.”
Dear Boris
4 Aug 2011 ......This is the first time you have written to me, and I can see that you want me to help you become mayor, for a second term.
The rise of 'grey power' ?
1 Aug 2011 ......once young and swinging in the 1960s, and it is expected that they will retain their activism and political energy?.....
More 2011
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